


A Massive Headache

by PrimarchOmegon



Category: Warhammer - All Media Types, Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Cortus swears a lot, Explicit Language, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, Mystery, Original Character Death(s), Post-Heresy, Serious Injuries, Strangely Fabius Bile has nothing to do with this, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Thousand Sons, Weird Plot Shit, World Eaters, a whole lot, spoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 00:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6634510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimarchOmegon/pseuds/PrimarchOmegon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when a Thousand Son just wants to investigate a random building in the middle of nowhere because he suspects some delicious secrets in there, but has to put up with a clearly insane World Eater that follows him everywhere and is not exactly made for stealth combat?<br/>The answer is: A massive headache.</p><p>(Guest starring one of my old characters that is coincidentally named after one of the sickest fucks in the entire history of Warhammer 40k, which I found out later on. Oh well, too late now, he's already part of this!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Massive Headache

"Oh please, you wouldn't even be able to decapitate your mother..." As a matter of fact, he was fairly sure that Cortus had already done that at the age of five or something, which was why he wasn't surprised that Verdias went down with a single swipe, barely able to gurgle one last insult before his slashed throat would take its toll on him.

"Did you really need to kill another one? You do realize that you're literally slaughtering our forces here, right? Not to mention that I still needed him, not _you_..."

"BLOOD F-" He covered Cortus' mouth, but couldn't muffle the maniacal growl that came along with the words.

"Shh! You're going to get us both killed...!" Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to bring one of the berserkers along, but Cortus never really left his side for some reason. He was like a lap dog, only that Cortus chose to permanently disobey him on purpose, probably because he found it funny.

"Imagine what would have happened if I hadn't deafened the area we're moving in first."

"GLORIOUS BLOODSHED FOR-"

"By the dark gods... Of all people to follow me here, why did it have to be you...?" Malail idly wondered why he hadn't seen this coming, but taking a peek at future events was a difficult concept and he was only able to get a glimpse of things that would have happened anyway, no matter what decision he would've made. One could argue that he should have gone further, but Malail firmly believed that even the event of divination had an impact on the future itself, which was why he tried to not use it all too often.

"Thank the gods that there are no other psykers in this facility." Otherwise he probably would have been spotted within mere seconds while using his powers, not to mention that he really needed to hide Cortus somehow when he was about to do something stupid again. Although he couldn't help thinking that this operation had been doomed from the start and it worried him.

Ever since they had landed on this god forsaken planet, everything had been going downhill for some reason. They almost set up their base on quicksand, then a hoard of creatures that seemed to be giant reptilians had crossed their way and nearly ruined half of their equipment by trampling it. And now this, a building that was most likely made by the enemy in the middle of the desert! They had been on this planet for a few hours now, but they never saw someone entering or leaving this block of concrete. On the other hand, they had also not seen the scout troops they sent in to investigate ever since.

"Cortus, help me up there."

"CAN'T YOU JUST FLOAT THERE, YOU FUCKING CUNT?!"

"Don't you think I should probably save my strength as best as possible? Does logic even bother you one bit?"

"BREAK THEIR BACKS, BREAK THEIR BACKS!" Well, guess that was a no. Malail sighed and already started to regret ever taking part in this to begin with, but he wasn't that surprised when Cortus finally gave him the boost he needed to reach the small ledge above. It was small, way too small to fit his size, but he could probably shimmy until he reached... Something.

"SALT THE WOUNDS!" Oh gods, Cortus was still following him. But how in the name of-

"I TOOK THE FUCKING LADDER, YOU FAGGOT." Well, that explained quite a lot. But it sure as hell didn't explain how there could be a ladder when he had carefully found a way around the building to ensure there were no surprises. Unless that blasted thing had magically appeared out of nowhere! Malail really, _really_ disliked surprises. That being said, it was a miracle they hadn't been caught yet, did he miss something? He had purposefully avoided the front, since it was heavily armored, but the rear of the building seemed stunningly vulnerable for some reason. Of course Malail had thought of a trap first, but even if it was, he didn't care much. After all, he had planned for everything that may stand in his way, regardless how much effort that took.

"For god's sake, Cortus...!" Was this man even able to take a single step without making any noises?! Not even while they crawled through this vent, the World Eater was able to keep still, probably the nails stinging because he was in the presence of a psyker. Malail had often wondered why Cortus sought his company, despite the nails biting his brain and ripping on his nerves like that whenever he came near a psyker. Or maybe that was the reason he followed him around, because it made him even more aggressive and blood thirsty, even more anticipated to rip things apart. Malail would've silenced him and ripped out his vocal cords a long time ago if that wouldn't mean a ton of horrible, psychic backlashes from the nails jammed into Cortus' skull.

Personally, Malail hadn't had any experiences with World Eaters so far, but he had heard that psykers felt increasingly uncomfortable in their presence and he could only confirm that, although the part where he should have been bleeding out of his mouth, nose, eyes and ears hadn't come yet. Thankfully.

“See, there's the first room, we made it. Exactly like I predicted. Now, Cortus, why don't you go first, I know how much you like being the first at something.“ Hopefully, he would get caught in the main crossfire while Malail sneaked out through the vents into the actual direction he had wanted to go.

“MOVE IT, SORCERER SCUM.” Where he had expected to simply be kicked out the vent, Cortus merely grunted as he shoved himself past Malail, awkwardly and quite bluntly jabbing a knee between the psyker's legs and an elbow in his ribs while moving forward to reach the vent gate. He didn't need to use his abilities to know that Cortus was grinning like a madman under his helmet that was still on his head for some reason. After all those battles and judging from how the World Eaters fought these days, one would assume that the least of them still had their helmets with them.

As soon as Cortus gave the sealed off exit the first kick, Malail set back a little and was at the brink of hitting the corner they came from when he heard something that surprised him even more. Gods, how he hated surprises...

“THIS SHIT IS EMPTY. GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF THAT VENT, YOU COWARD!” Highly suspicious, very worrying and definitely not what he had expected. But Cortus was, sadly, still alive and throwing insults at him, obviously ready to just reach back in and pull him out of the vent if he'd let him wait any longer. If only Verdias was still alive, then he'd have someone to talk to. Someone that was still sane and empathetic towards logic and reason.

“Strange, were is everyone? This seems to be the armory, everything is clean and there's no dust...”

“THE COWARDS, THE FOOLS, THEIR HEAD WILL BE SEVERED FROM THEIR NECKS!”

“I swear, I will boil you inside your own armor if you don't shut up...”

“TRY ME, ASSHOLE.” One day he might, but there were more important things than killing someone that could still be of immense use in battle right now.

The armory seemed deserted, but everything was perfectly sorted the way it should be, it was all in order, which made all of this even more confusing. A building this big had a lot of people stationed here, how could all of them vanish like that? Of course, to make such an assumption after merely examining one room in the whole facility was quite bold, but there weren't even servitors around, nor were there any noises in general. It was dead quiet, so quiet in fact that Malail thought he was able to hear the nails eating away at Cortus' mind and brain.

At this point, he wasn't even sure if this was supposed to be a trap anymore, since there was literally nothing else besides a few land mines placed around this block of concrete and those had been easy to avoid. Almost as if someone didn't care at all if they actually protected the whole facility and slowed possible enemies down or not.

"Cortus, I've got a great idea...", Malail suddenly said, earning a barely convinced grunt from his unwelcome follower in this strange adventure.

"I let you go first once more, just because you didn't get to have your fun last time. How's that for a peace offering?"

"NGH! FILTHY SORCERER COWARD!" He chose to not pay attention to this insult and watched Cortus enter the hallway, kind of expecting him to snap this instant and just charge the first thing he saw.

"EMPTY." Well, that explained it.

"It's all so clean, as if someone took care of it after something happened."

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Malail tried to resort to an ancient technique for breath regulation in order to further put up with Cortus being himself, but the mind-numbing headache that built itself up inside his skull made it difficult for him to stay collected. It was probably better to dispose of Cortus as soon as possible after they were done here, this company came with more trouble than it was worth in the long run.

"What is it, Cortus?"

"GREEN FUCKING LIGHT DOWN THERE. THE BRASS LORD DEMANDS BLOOD!"

"Alright, maybe we can find you something nice to brutally slaughter while I'll take care of the important stuff." Now that he mentioned it, Cortus' twitching had indeed become worse over time, it was only a matter of time until he'd snap. And then Malail himself would be on the menu which was something the Thousand Son wanted to avoid for as long as possible. Right now he might still benefit of this questionable company, although he didn't know why Cortus was following him in the first place. The only thing he really knew was that the World Eater hadn't left him alone after the last battle where they had suddenly ended up side by side and knee deep in bodies and blood.

"SPLIT THEM OPEN!"

"Yes, yes, we can split them open all you want when we get down there." Safe to say that there were only stairs down, but they looked like they had been added later on and hadn't been part of the actual facility to begin with, so that was that. There was definitely something going on here and he had to know what it was, there was no way around it. What knowledge could be buried under this concrete block, what secrets had been left here after everyone had vanished?

“Thank the gods...”, he occasionally mumbled when he noticed that Cortus seemed to be as glad as he was to not be trapped in an elevator room with him. Sure, there would be space between them, but not enough if it came down to it. And on top of that, his headache got worse the more they descended into the depths of this place, but he blamed Cortus for that. He couldn't trust any of his usual abilities as a psyker while he was with that guy, it might as well be the effect the nails had on him. And using his more defensive powers would probably amplify it somehow.

“What in the name of-”

“BLOOD WILL FLOW WHERE I WALK! CROSS ME AND DIE!” Who actually thought to themselves that neon green was the right light to illuminate their most likely secret laboratory? At least it looked kind of like a laboratory, it could be that this was just another deserted part of the facility. Whatever it was, he would search is thoroughly to not let any possible secrets or knowledge slip past him! This thing was abandoned for a reason and said reason must've had another reason to come here and take part in this as well.

"BREAK THEIR BACKS, BREAK THEIR BACKS!" Right now, Malail really mourned the loss of his helmet in the last battle, otherwise he would've rolled his eyes. But provoking Cortus now that he was even more on edge than usual was probably not the best idea. Which was why he resorted to inspecting the machines and the broken servitors in a corner to gain some distance between him and the World Eater. At least it made his head stop pounding for a while, although he wondered why he even came here in the first place. It wasn't like he knew _exactly_ that something was in this facility, buried under all the concrete. It had been a mere feeling, the need to inspect this thing that everyone else neglected because they thought it was empty and apparently didn't care about the scout troups that had never returned from here. Not to mention that he had been feeling more exhausted ever since they began this stupid investigation. But before he could delve deeper into these thoughts, Cortus roughly bumped his fist against Malail's shoulder armor to make him pay attention again. Being exhausted might as well came from Cortus being... Himself.

"What is it?"

"YOU ARE WEAK. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!" He followed the World Eater's nod towards the door in the back. It was only slightly closed and light flickered through the gaps. There was definitely someone in there.

"I'm sorry, but I'll go first this time. Nothing personal." He could feel that Cortus wasn't exactly happy with this, but it wasn't like the body language of the World Eater didn't tell him that he was always not exactly happy, rather than absurdly fucking angry.

"Ah yes, and I thought you and your little friend would never enter! Not in this millenium at least.", a voice greeted them and Malail was at the brink of just slamming the door shut, but tried to calm himself, rather than giving in the the urge to be angry. He should probably take this as a challenge to prove that he was indeed different from Cortus, like he always claimed.

"What is the meaning of this, human?" The man hunched over the surgeon table looked up, somehow surprised that Malail addressed him, but that was only a brief moment before he politely turned around from whatever he was doing and bowed before them. A thick, blond braid fell over his shoulder, which some how added up to the overly friendly smile on his lips. And he didn't need any powers to know that something was up with this guy.

"Good day, friend and person that's soon going to be my best friend. Or maybe it's night, I don't really know since I rarely leave this lovely establishment." The man was barely as tall as he was, but Malail felt the sinister aura around him, he didn't even need to pay attention to the stitches that trailed down the man's right eye and disappeared under the white cloth that covered his mouth. Surprisingly sturdy figure for a mere human apothecary- at least the fading symbol on his uniform said so. For a second, the man focused something behind Malail, then he continued.

"As you may have noticed, I once was an apothecary of this facility and I keep everything nice and clean, I really dislike dust. An aversion, you might want to say."

"What happened here?"

"Ah yes, knowledge is what we all seek, isn't it? See, I've been doing quite some research and I ended up spreading it all across this nice, little building. You might want to call it accidental and I would absolutely let that slide, although I think the word you're searching for is probably... _Willingly_." If there was a weapon so unnoticeable that it could vanquish the full population of a facility like this, it would surely come in handy once or twice. There were no two ways about it, Malail would surely not leave here empty handed, this would earn him a whole new rank in this play!

"Nothing can escape this?"

"Not even animals, but those rarely come down here anyway. Shame, I'd make good use of a pet, but then again... I probably already have enough."

"We let scout troops enter this building first, where did they go?" The man just shrugged, but didn't seem to bother elaborating.

"Ah, forgive me, where are my manners? My name is Fabius. Fabius Van Jonne, I do believe my nephew worked close with your legion for a thing he called the _Seraph-project_ , but he never told me much anyways. They should've done a more detailed background check on me before recruiting me, but oh well! Things happen, then other things happen, that's the circle of life. And even in death, this fact does not change." What a foolish man, of course things changed, everything constantly changed at any moment and everything was able to change at all times!

"And what caused all of this, apothecary?" Fabius smiled and pointed him in the direction of the surgeon table, where the half-decayed corpse of something that probably had once been a young woman took up most of the surface.

"My little patient zero. Sadly, her body couldn't withstand it for long, but at least she had been spreading it rather fast. We had something truly special, it makes me a little sad to see her like that." The way Fabius touched that decaying corpse was intimate enough to make Malail want to spit in his face, but he kept it from showing in his body language. There was still plenty of time to kill this disgusting man after he had found out everything there was to find out.

"So, you came here sooner than I expected, which means I should probably get everything ready, would you like to skip to business right away? I like that you brought me a test subject right away, it makes things a lot easier!"

"You're going to give away your research for a simple exchange because you need a test subject?"

"That is correct, I've been looking forward to this a lot! I've never been able to test this theory on one of those. I hope you won't be too uncomfortable with this, I'll try to stay professional at all times." At least as professional as an insane, chaos tainted apothecary in a deserted building could be.

"Would you please put your little friend in a state where I can examine his cranium without him trying to rip out my internal organs through my mouth or something equally uncomfortable?" Finally, an easy way to dispose of Cortus and put an end to these headaches! No one would care anyway, no one would ask questions and he'd even receive a nice reward for getting rid of something that bothered him.

"I guess that means our ways part here, Cortus." Fabius chuckled a little and nodded.

"They do indeed, at least for now. I do like your humor very much, let's keep that, shall we?" Malail felt the blade in his back, before he had even be able to sense it coming. It plunged itself deep inside his flesh, severing nerves and tendons, professionally cutting through his spinal cord. His hands didn't move, his legs gave in and he had no choice but to sink to the floor. Luckily, his vegetative nerve system seemed to still be intact, his lungs remembered to draw breath and his hearts still knew how to pump blood through his veins.

"Would you look at that, you crippled him. That will take a lot of work to get repaired... But I'm not complaining, this going to be a long-time project anyway!" Why didn't his powers work, it just didn't make sense! He should've been able to heal his wounds and boil these distasteful, treacherous dogs from the inside out! But the splitting headache inside his skull made it hard to think about things in general, it was almost as if someone...

Cortus suddenly moved from the corner of his eye to face him, he didn't seem to be all too concerned or moved by what he had just done. But not only that, he had no body language at all, he just looked down on him and then turned to Fabius.

"I'VE-" He coughed.

"I've brought you a psyker this time, necromancer. It wasn't easy to bring him here, I always had to stay really close to him to weaken his abilities and psychic wall enough in order to plant this idea into his head, not to mention that it was quite tedious to find a psyker that never met a World Eater these days. I hope you've got something good for us this time."

"Oh, you can trust me on this one. Giving me this facility to experiment with is worth every piece of my services!"

"Where did you put my scout troops?"

"I already said I don't know where they are. Probably playing cards somewhere, I taught them a new game a few weeks back. I just hope they don't use my undead for target practice again, those poor creatures deserve better than that! And it greatly confuses them, just adding that to the list..." Malail tried to get up somehow and maybe escape unnoticed while those two had their little conversation, but all his efforts merely resulted into falling over and hitting the concrete with his face first, since his arms didn't obey him anymore.

"Look at him scrambling about, kind of cute to be honest... He's going to be one of my finest works, bringing them back never worked out with the human psykers so far."

"Wh...what i-is th... this...?" Cortus seemed to consider just walking away for a moment, but soon decided to kneel before him and lift him up by the front of his armor so that they came face to face.

"A wise man once said that power demands sacrifice.", the World Eater calmly stated and tilted his head a little, maybe to examine Malail one last time.

"T-traitor...!" It was almost as if time suddenly had decided to slow down and stretch this moment as far as possible before Cortus gave him a slight nod and lifted his helmet for him to take a peek. What he saw wasn't the face of one of Angron's insane butchers, it was a face with smooth, marvelous skin, a face with steeled eyes looking right inside him, sharp, handsome features and a tattoo on one side. This face... By the gods.

"Wh...who a-are you... WHO?!" The man smiled at him, obviously amused by such a bold demand. And then leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Hydra Dominatus, _brother_."

 

**Author's Note:**

> There might be a shorter, second chapter, something like an epilogue maybe... Then again, I always end up promising something new and then find myself unable to deliver because I got bored or something... Oh well, the ancient powers of chaos go where they please, eh?
> 
> Suggestions, praise and comments are very welcome to this individual right here and it hereby expresses its desire for your opinion, most delicious reader!


End file.
